Creating Space

Another reflection from Charles Ringma on Disengagement.

"Giving time for solutions to be found."

Helpers sometimes can be too anxious to help. Counselors sometimes can be too quick in problem-solving. And advice-givers are frequently giving answers when the questions have not been properly identified. Moreover, religious people are often only too willing to share their experiences of divine help with others irrespective of whether the listener has similar concerns or needs.

We therefore need be so careful that we do not push people toward solutions. Solutions need to be found. They cannot be dished out. Henri Nouwen observes, "We cannot force anyone to such a personal and intimate change of heart, but we can offer the space where such change can take place."

Creating such a space involves giving people time as well as support and encouragement. It allows people to identify their questions, experience their pain, reveal their anger and expose their dashed expectations. It does not provide neat answers, but journeys with the person at their pace in their quest for answer and renewal.

This does not mean that no direct help is given and everything is left to the person seeking help. It means that we offer space, support and help as it is requested by those with whom we are working.

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This speaks so much of my situation today. I just don't know what to do anymore... and probably... just probably..."creating space" is the way for me to find His solutions to my situation. It will give me time to unload my burdens to Christ and to pour out my heart to Him. It will allow me to hear from Him and experience His comfort in my life, too.

While the consequence of being separate is unbearable, but I think I will appreciate and understand better what Paul wrote Philemon on Onesimus, "Perhaps the reason he was separated from for a little while was that you might have him back for good..." I don't really know...I just have to keep on praying...

Prayer is the key to finding the answers...for God, by His grace and mercy, will reveal to us His purpose and plans why He allows us to go through complex and strenuous encounters.

And so, I pray that God will sustain me and give me strength to overcome all necessary circumstances to bring out the best in me.